stjensen

    Thing are more up for now. I still have bouts of depression. That is normal but i am starting to have more moments of release, moments where things feel like they are going be okay. For now i will go day by day, try and look for happy things. Usually i just sit back, listen to music. Without listening to my music i would have to hear the all consuming silence in my head. So quiet i hear things sometimes, like music coming from somewhere besides my own headphone, or just a constant ringing. Day by day, hoping things will not weigh so heavily on my being. Leaving now. Just sharing my thoughts where fairly little people will see. Just makes

Social anxiety. Depression. Apathy. I am detached from emotion, I do not even remember the last time I have felt anything but emptiness, depression, or anxiety. Although I seem happy (much less often do I seem happy now) I just have a constant looming of nothingness. Nothing makes me extremely excited anymore. Like when I was a kid, I used to get excited for Christmas, or any holiday I am given things. Now I do not think I deserve anything. Everything seems hopeless to me, only one thing I have prevents me from just quitting. Just felt like putting some of my thoughts onto this website. Whomever may read this, have a nice day.